Debbie Prins

Just speaking my truth!!!

When Good Bye is actually Good Riddance!

For those who don’t know me well, I have a rather strict “take no shit” policy where people in my life are concerned. It took a long time.

For the first four decades of my life, I was the pleaser I told you about in a previous post. Keeping them in my life was my biggest aim, regardless of the way they treated me. No matter how much they hurt me, or how bad they made me feel about myself.

I took so much abuse, verbally mostly, that I used to spend more time in tears than not. Until the day I couldn’t take it anymore. My sanity, joy and purpose was being slowly sucked out of my life, and I was losing the little bit of me, I still had left.

A few of my relationships were borderline abusive, if not completely so, and I was taking it, mistakenly believing that I needed to keep them in my life, for whatever reason. Whether that was because they were family, long term friend, or some other.

Then I had a brainwave. I realised that life was too short to spend hours crying, about someone who added nothing positive to my life. People who took joy from hurting me, were not worthy of my time anymore and most importantly, those who disrespected me, were a total waste of my energy.

The final deciding factor, was simply realising that by allowing such treatment, I was teaching my daughter, it is ok to treat others that way. That is something I just couldn’t condone anymore, so I made the change.

I cut out every abusive relationship, no matter how important they were previously.

It was difficult, and I had to defend my choices many times, but the difference it made to my life is truly awesome.

I don’t cry much anymore and when I do it is mostly for joy. I am much more content with my life and the joy and peace, I thought I had lost, is back with a vengeance. I even noticed that my daughter’s moods have improved and our relationship with each other has too. We laugh together frequently and she is surrounded by more love that she could ever want.

So my advice to everyone is, “fuck the haters” and the abusers.

Take back your joy it is so worth it.


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6 Responses

  1. Laurie Kozlowski says

    Wonderful post, Debbie. I agree. There is so much beauty in life to squader our well-earned energy on those who don’t appreciate it or take advantage.Keep peace and be well. –Laurie Kozlowski

    • Debbie says

      Thank you sweet one, hope your joy flows freely!

  2. Suzanna Linton says

    Yes! I agree so much! I grew up being bullied and had a lot of anxiety. Then I had the same epiphany. Life is too short for bullies and drama.

    • Debbie says

      Thank you for your kind words! I hope you find abundant joy!

  3. Athena says

    Woohoo! I am cheering you on. There I was. 40 and on the verge of a breakdown. My only child had deployed overseas. My dad was in the hospital. My mom had cancer. The rest of my family had long since had the opportunity to abuse me the way they had for decades. And, with the exception of a few cousins and one aunt, they had all gone out of their way to blame me for all of the above. Guess what. Not anymore. It is hard. It is exhausting. But it is so worth it. They no longer have the privilege of contacting me. Yay for boundaries. Yay you! Yay me! Proud of you my friend!

    • Debbie says

      Get your joy back gorgeous one! I will be here to cheer you on too!