For those who don’t know me well, I have a rather strict “take no shit” policy where people in my life are concerned. It took a long time.
For the first four decades of my life, I was the pleaser I told you about in a previous post. Keeping them in my life was my biggest aim, regardless of the way they treated me. No matter how much they hurt me, or how bad they made me feel about myself.
I took so much abuse, verbally mostly, that I used to spend more time in tears than not. Until the day I couldn’t take it anymore. My sanity, joy and purpose was being slowly sucked out of my life, and I was losing the little bit of me, I still had left.
A few of my relationships were borderline abusive, if not completely so, and I was taking it, mistakenly believing that I needed to keep them in my life, for whatever reason. Whether that was because they were family, long term friend, or some other.
Then I had a brainwave. I realised that life was too short to spend hours crying, about someone who added nothing positive to my life. People who took joy from hurting me, were not worthy of my time anymore and most importantly, those who disrespected me, were a total waste of my energy.
The final deciding factor, was simply realising that by allowing such treatment, I was teaching my daughter, it is ok to treat others that way. That is something I just couldn’t condone anymore, so I made the change.
I cut out every abusive relationship, no matter how important they were previously.
It was difficult, and I had to defend my choices many times, but the difference it made to my life is truly awesome.
I don’t cry much anymore and when I do it is mostly for joy. I am much more content with my life and the joy and peace, I thought I had lost, is back with a vengeance. I even noticed that my daughter’s moods have improved and our relationship with each other has too. We laugh together frequently and she is surrounded by more love that she could ever want.
So my advice to everyone is, “fuck the haters” and the abusers.
Take back your joy it is so worth it.